I volunteer to taste the glass water

I volunteer to taste the glass water

STUART LITTLE dips a finger into the WATER, and tastes it.
Yup. That's WATER alright. Surprisingly chilly, too.

After the demolitions expert used underhanded tactics to defeat me yesterday, I must admit I was... aimless tonight.

I first set off towards the costume room, to find myself a new shirt after I had ripped my old one off in a display of machismo power. Many cowboys were in there as well, and they left upstairs, followed by a small mouse.

From there, I headed towards the treasure room, as I intended to look around for secrets. I passed by a few people on the way - I didn't care enough about them to notice. Although, one was the cheater...

I spent some time in the treasure room, before leaving to the workshop to get a sledgehammer. I then left for my room for the night, but first attempted some interior remodeling... which was met with a resounding clang.

This post was last modified: Sep 4, 2020 at 7:13 AM by Demopan.

Stu and that chicken man still haven't respawned yet. Is this an arena server? Ooooh, I've got a bad feelin' about this.

I left my room and headed east, passing Mordin Solus and the very weak and pathetic Hideo Kojima. I also noticed the Goose running to the COSTUME ROOM. I entered the OUTER WALL with the devilish lass following me, and she gave me the evil eye till I left. Don't ye have a waterfowl to be gettin' embarrassed by? We parted ways and I headed to the TORTURE CHAMBER, passing by TOM.

I left the south portion of the OUTER WALL and climbed the LADDER to the ROOF. While I was there, I saw a totally different Monokuma throw a glass at the GLASS ROOF and stand there like he was expectin' something. Stupid muppet. He awkwardly scurried down the ladder to the second floor, and I took a look around the roof meself. Wasn't much up there, just like the map description said. When I went to check out the glass part, though, I saw a terrifyin' sight...

The Giant Rat was in the BATHROOM, takin' a big ol' swig of some kinda drink. Suddenly it started gaspin', clutchin' its chest, and turnin' red as me favorite kilt. It hit its head on the sink as it collapsed to the floor, dead.

So that happened.

I went down to the second floor and passed through ARTS N' CRAFTS, then headed to the KITCHEN for a bottle o' scrumpy. I passed that runt Monokuma again as I entered. As I grabbed me bottle, Mr. Satan came in dressed up like a rapper. Suddenly, I noticed something that I missed when I walked in: the ghost of Colonel Sanders! Cooking chicken! Bloody horrifying.

Satan grabbed his booze too and we left downstairs together. Stu's body was missing from the MAIN HALL, and the corpse of the colonel was shambling around in its place. Why's he get to be a ghost and a zombie at the same time? We got to the THEATRE and I took a seat in the audience. Stuart Little, Kright, and Totally Regular Lad were there already. A wooden Bowser suit was on stage alongside the participants. Well, at least I think it was them. One of 'em was walking on stilts and wearing a trenchcoat and a paper mache Eminem head.

Before the rap battle started, Mr. Satan wanted to give a shoutout to his sponsors. Something strange definitely happened in the middle of his speech, though. I know I wasn't that drunk yet. Satan wanted to restart his speech, but I told 'im to get on with it. Lucifer was up first!

"So I show up to this tournament expecting a battle.
But I'm rapping against the goose, I ain't even rattled.

What's the best you can do, just honking at the crowd?
Why are you even here, ain't your gimmick disallowed?

You can't even talk, why am I even tryin'?
Go ahead and honk at me. You can talk, you're just lyin'."

Not bad, lass, not bad. The uh, Eminem thing went next.

"Yo, you call me waterfowl but my rhymes are sick. Just shut the fuck up, get off the stage bitch.
You're standing up here thinking you've got me figured out, but you're nothing but a poser talking smack and chasing clout.
You a god damn loser and I'm the motherfucking goose, your soul is in chains while this bird is on the loose."
Like some shit straight outta Doom I'll collapse your skull with a bonk, you know the last thing you'll ever hear?"

He tore off his costume, revealing himself as the Goose allllll along!

"Honk."

It wasn't even a contest. Absolute drubbing.

The Goose wandered off stage while Mr. Satan somehow needed time to consider the result. Meanwhile some grey horned thing walked in, smashed a wine bottle, and shouted something about bad lads before fucking off to the DRESSING ROOM. Satan declared the Goose to be the winner, Kright threw some flowers onto the stage, and Lucifer rode off on her motorcycle to cry about her crushing defeat. The Goose wasn't around anymore to accept its victory, though. Shame, I wanted to shake its wing and wish it luck for our bout tomorrow. You're on laddie, heheh.

Dave Stdider comes from the DRESSING ROOM and says something about cars and cats and - does it really matter? I left the THEATRE with him, Satan, and the regular lad. They all went to their bedrooms, but I had other plans. I headed to the WORKSHOP for some wood n' nails to make a ramp, then got up to the top of the BEDROOM BUILDING and-

There was nothing there. Someone had already set up a ladder to get there anyway. I couldn't even see the stars. Fucking hell.

Hey Stuart Little's lawyer here posting from his account;
Stuart has told me he intends on forcing himself to vomit up the poison he inhaled and then tasting it again to confirm the flavor vs. the cola. Is this allowed under legal jurisdiction here? I'm not sure what province the castle is in, but if there's an issue then I can talk w

Can soda be found in the Kitchen? Is there any way to tell if some is obviously missing?

Hey Stuart Little's lawyer here posting from his account;
Stuart has told me he intends on forcing himself to vomit up the poison he inhaled and then tasting it again to confirm the flavor vs. the cola. Is this allowed under legal jurisdiction here? I'm not sure what province the castle is in, but if there's an issue then I can talk w

STUART LITTLE attempts to stick his fingers into his THROAT and force himself to throw up.

...

Nothing. No gag reflex.

Can soda be found in the Kitchen? Is there any way to tell if some is obviously missing?

Oh, totally, there's just BOTTLES of the stuff in the fridge.
Looks like one of the 2L COKE BOTTLES is partially empty.

This post was last modified: Sep 4, 2020 at 8:55 AM by Ram Ranch Redemption.

36 forensic expert naked cowboys trying to find murder leads

deep deep deep leads

examining the burned out costume room and keeping a particular eye on the monokuma and jack noir costumes as well as anything else that might be out of place from the previous night

deep deep deep costumes

36 naked cowboys out in scotland yard
heading to the library to learn of the correct methods for identifying unknown poisons that may be present within the coke

deep deep deep investigating
even in their sleep

examining the burned out costume room and keeping a particular eye on the monokuma and jack noir costumes as well as anything else that might be out of place from the previous night

The place is pretty burnt up. The more intact costumes that survived the fire appear to be general costumes, like POLICEMAN or CLOWN. Or FROG. There doesn't really seem to be any specific character costumes at all, now that you look.
Also, there's a very out of place LOG that's mostly charcoal now.

heading to the library to learn of the correct methods for identifying unknown poisons that may be present within the coke

The LIBRARY is burnt down, most of the BOOKS that seem to have survived are the FICTION ones, mostly of the MEDIEVAL FANTASY genre.
Oh, hey, some of the BOOKS have secret messages in them, revealed by the heat of the fire!

It's DICKS. It's all drawings of PENISES.

I woke up in the 📚 and went outside
I saw 🐀 going to the shed and FLOTZO in the 🏡, and KOJIMA heading WEST
I started getting 🌳 from 🛠 for my 🎨
I see 🕵️‍♂️ going WEST and FLOTZO in the hall
theres a LADDER on the 🛏 building and I hear a 🔊 on the roof
I see 🐀 and 👩‍🎓 while getting more 🌳
🐀 is getting wooden 🐀s from outside 🐁's room and goes to the 🛠
We pass 👽 on the way out and I pass him again while getting more 🌳
I finish my 🎨 and head back to my 🛏
I see 🎙leaving the main hall on the way
Theres another 🔊 later that night

Mission Report

Objective: Eliminate and Survival

Elimination of target, failed. Agent R. has been eliminated instead. Begin, Operation: Hunting Hunters.

I woke up and got a cup of coffee

After coffee, I go to the Main Hall and see Mordin Solus come down the stairs
The wooden bowser statue comes to the theater, and I decide to go follow it.

I go to the costume room to enact my elimination plan.
I dress up as the incredibly generic Guy

In the costume room, Hideo Kojima leaves when I enter, and Ram Ranch and Stuart Little go upstairs
I find a "prop" crossbow which is decidedly not a prop, and take that with me, along with a few bolts

Next, I head to the treasure room. The kickable goose runs past me as I exit the building, and Demopan heads to the east.

I see Hideo Kojima and Mordin Solus heading west, and follow them, as that is where I need to go.

The two split off in the wall, I follow Kojima north to the treasure room.

Kojima takes some stuff, sees me, and leaves.

I go upstairs, and aim at the shed.

I wait...

and wait...

The CEO of Hell enters the shed

I wait, and when she leaves, I shoot.

It does not hit in the slightest.

Operation failed

I then examine more things in the treasure room, before going back to my room, and see a strange person with a bedsheet, but I don't acknowledge them as I go to my bed and sleep.

After waking up, I head out into the garden, where I catch sight of the Giant Rat heading into the shed, along with some Normal Guy avoiding my gaze as they exit the Costume Room and head due west. I then head for the Main Hall, where I see 👌 heading towards the garden as I enter. I head up the West Stairs and pause. Someone in a black fursuit exits the kitchen and heads down the 2nd floor’s hall. I slip into the kitchen, where I begin my work.

Upon completion, I exit and head for the Dining Room, passing by Minus Shachou. On my way out, I bump into Shachou again, and we head into the Laundry Room together. Minus Shachou solicits me for something along the lines of dirty laundry.

Exiting the Laundry Room, I head into the Castle Walls towards the Trophy Room to grab something. When I finish, I head back through the walls and through the Laundry Room, where I notice Minus Shachou has left. In the hall, I bump into someone covered in a bedsheet. We head into the Main Hall together, but they lag behind as I head out.

As I return to my own bedroom, I notice Rubber Duck with a ladder, along with another ladder on the east side of the Bedrooms.

@Power Flotzo what did you take from the Chem Lab night one after collecting the drink? It is currently assumed that it was the cyanide used in tonights murder which puts you in the hot spot

investigate tom's bedroom and bathroom doors and handles

TOM'S BEDROOM DOOR is broken open, and won't close or lock properly.
The DOOR between the BEDROOM and the BATHROOM has fallen off the hinges completely. It's loosely propped into the frame.
The DOOR between the ARTS AND CRAFTS ROOM and the BATHROOM is locked. It's otherwise completely fine.

Nothing is notable about the handles of each of the doors.

and the rooms themselves

TOM'S ROOM is full of 17 WOODEN COWBOYS and 18 STUFFED COWBOYS, all posed in various gmod-tier risque positions.
Loose ROCKS and JEANS are scattered around the place.
The RADIO blares some RAM RANCH sounding music.
And TOM'S bed has been converted into the most unsafe shoddy looking BUNK BED possible. Like, it was cut in the middle, and then placed on top of itself.

It's also surprisingly devoid of things that aren't that.

The BATHROOM has a DEAD BODY in it. A broken GLASS spilling some kind of liquid. Blood on the sink.
Nothing else appears to be touched.