This post was last modified: Jan 30, 2022 at 12:54 PM by
Takeshi Kaga.
"Tell me what you kill...
and I'll tell you what you are"
- evil Brillat-Savarin
[TAKESHI KAGA THROUGH INTERPRETER] I shall begin our grand tale of the night's events from the beginning, if you may...
[TAKESHI KAGA THROUGH INTERPRETER]
Top chefs and crew from around the universe! Noticing
Iron Chef Masterchef heading to the South Hallway as I made my way through this glorious battlefield, I was the first on set in the Competition Kitchen. I was stuck waiting in anticipation of meeting the talent no doubt lurking in these very halls, now refurbished to even the playing field. No doubt my interest was piqued when I noticed
IRON CREW HOPES PEAK skulking near the cameras. It is not the Crew I normally notice, but they are every bit as important to this show's success as my internationally renowned chefs, so I have taken it upon myself to validate their pitiful existence!
At that very instant, one of my champions appeared:
IRON CHEF ITALIAN! Deliciously stylish, he was cast aside by
CHEF RAMSAY, who begun explaining the rules of this contest. However! I had prepared a twist for our contestants:
The theme ingredient of the night!
[GORDON RAMSAY NOTTHROUGH INTERPRETER] Bloody hell, alright! Go off then
THOSE CAPTIONS ARE INCORRECT IT WAS MEANT TO SAY
SHRIMP!
[TAKESHI KAGA THROUGH INTERPRETER] "These shrimp fresh?" You may wonder! But fear not, my personally selected champion for the night, Iron Chef Seafood, will cook up a storm! But who will take on my chef? It's time to introduce the challenger!
IRON CHEF MALEWIFE
Allez cuisine!
...aha! Iron Chef Seafood is cooking up a Garlic Shrimp bake! So many chefs are passing in and out of the kitchen as he madly rushes around to prepare his most famous and yet completely average dish. One of the judges, Pohatu, has taken a liking to his display.
[POHATU, CONFUSED] Honestly boss why does my name almost sound like Potato I don't feel good about th-
Enough of that! The judging is about to occur. Our renowned judges are not present, so
IRON CHEF GARLEAN has decided to take up judging, but will his palette be up to scratch!? The competitor has left the kitchen while a new challenger approaches...
IRON CREW MONDAYS
Iron Chef Mondays begins to put his dish on the judging table, and while Iron Crew Human Cuisine's Brother critiques tonight's judge for technically being a chef, our judge tries to dive into the Garlic Shrimp Bake, when... shock and horror! Iron Chef Mondays has pushed the dish off of the table, shattering it on the floor and ruining the dish entirely!! Why did you do that, Lasagna Cat?!
Well, that's all we can say for now. Definitely not mad, Iron Chef Seafood admits the match is a draw...
[TAKESHI KAGA THROUGH INTERPRETER] I had clearly overestimated Chef Ramsay's discipline in this contest. Of all the years I strived for culinary perfection from my chefs, did that [INAUDIBLE] cat really save himself in that obviously decided match by sabotaging my champion's dish? And wasn't going to pay for it... at all? Well...
After the match ended, I was faced with a conundrum... with no chef to give a winning statement, Chef Ramsay yelled for a janitor at once, Iron Crew Sera Island entered, and I followed that dreaded cat out into the hallway... we pass by Iron Crew Human Cuisine and reach the Break Room and see Iron Chef Crimbo entering the Chef Dorm. It is there, I see my chance to get revenge.
Sprinting up the stairs... I yell at the top of my lungs:
THIS IS FOR MY SHRIMP!
And kick that [INAUDIBLE] cat down the stairs. The deed was done. Iron Chef Seafood had won this battle in the end. I returned to the dorm, hoping a more dignified match awaited my chefs tomorrow.
[ -- Captioned by Minus World Media Group -- ]
Starring: TAKESHI KAGA
GORDON RAMSAY
IRON CHEFS/CREW (in order of appearance)
Iron Chef Master Chef - Gregg Wallace
Iron Crew Hopes Peak - Komaeda
Iron Chef Italian - Pizza
Iron Chef Malewife - Immortal Tatsu
Iron Chef Garlean - Solus
Iron Crew Human Cuisine's Brother - Hurderer
Iron Crew Mondays - Lasagna Cat
Iron Crew Sera Island - Atelier Annie
Iron Crew Human Cuisine - Hannibal
Iron Chef Crimbo - Vruet