(Oh...)

(Could Spooks grant us access? Not while the tour's happening! We'd better wait until later. We don't even have our dorm yet! We're starting to get looks for standing around like this...)

(Dorm rooms... It's so hard to believe they don't assign them to us! We really get to choose our own here? We'll have to take the history team dorm! There's so much we can learn about the job up here! But the survey team dorm wouldn't be so bad as a second choice. But what if they ask us to go down in the basement with the research team!? That'd be our last choice, but maybe that's where they send the new interns! Do they keep them in the dark down!? Oh no, that must be why the map says the kitchen and break room are down there! They'll make us bring snacks from all the way down there!)

Oooh, I wonder what's on the VHS... Gonna try to get into the display and get it out

You attempt to wrench open the glass case holding onto the VHS player. It seems like this Bureau doesn't consider this one very dangerous, because the display opens with little effort. You reach in to grab it, but Spooks protests, gently swatting your hand out of the way.



Please refrain from touching the Anomalies during this tour! Safety first!

Oh, fine, just cuz you're cute Spooks.

Instead, since no one has done it, I'm gonna go check out the boiler room

Well. That's annoying. But okay, you two get this one for now. How about looking at that checkpoint? I like checkpoints.

The talk with Astrid had confirmed my fears - I had moved from one genre of horror story to another, one that preys on our fear of obfuscation as much as our fear of the unknown.

...It was pointless to overly worry at this stage - I needed to find out as much as I can before things go awry.

---

Ah, you've read Garth Marenghi's books? I must admit, they're much better than his TV writing - although I may just be biased against the name of his last series.

Regardless, I think I've seen most of interest within this floor of the building - and I'd like to get some fresh air. Spooks? Would you mind showing me the way to the Fountain?

This post was last modified: Dec 12, 2023 at 3:42 AM by Dodo.

Dodo's dormitory preferences right now are: Research > History > Survey in descending order.

He would also like to visit the Checkpoint , in case he gets sorted into the wrong bedroom and needs to save-scum.

"Shoot! SHOOT SHOOT, I'm late!! Uh. HI EVERYONE MY NAME IS RUBY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL!!"

Aggressively shake hands with everyone here.

You attempt to aggressively shake hands with people. Some are receptive, some are not. Spooks in particular has an iron grip, and you shake your hand around in pain. Was it intentional? Or does the poor guy not know his own mechanical strength? Either way, you resolve to stick to real, human hands from now on. Or bird hands, you suppose. There's two of those, somehow.

This building is fickle. Paltry, even. I wouldn't host a conference here under any circumstance. I cannot project my image of success here without the comfort of brutalist architecture. But, winners adapt. Therefore, I will, too.

...Spooks.

Your marketability is endless, but you lack initiative. We must assess your worth; only then can we trust you with trade secrets.



I must be clear with you. My reputation precedes me, much to my detriment. Thieves seeking the key to my geniusness may be closing in on our location as we speak. While my empire is too big to fail, my success is not dependent on my life. Are we safe here?

To that end, we should examine the gates to ensure our own security.

My initiative is top-notch! I have been designed from the ground up by the Bureau's greatest minds to be helpful, friendly, and above all, committed to the safety of this facility and our staff! Since the beginning of my existence, slip-and-falls have decreased by 75.98%, and the occurrence of workplace accidents across the board have decreased by 46.59%!

Your safety is guaranteed!

You examine the gates, somewhat reassured of your safety. The first gate, facing out towards the woodland road, appears to be a simple security gate to prevent unauthorized vehicles from entering. You go take a look inside, and notice that it doesn't seem to have much inside, besides a computer that you lack the password to, a couple CCTV cameras for the front of the building, and a locked cabinet.

The second gate, standing before a passage that appears to disappear underground, looks to be a bit more interesting upon immediate inspection. There is a variety of emergency equipment such as a flare gun and a high-powered flashlight, as well as a shotgun, fixed to the wall in a locked case. There's CCTV feeds similar to the other gate, except they seem to show the inside of the tunnel. It looks like this guard might have had a more high-stress position than the other guy.

Shake hands with Astrid

"Hiya, I'm Ruby! Nice to meet you!!"

Hey. Nice to meet you too, I guess.



(This one's... a little energetic, if you ask me...)

Wow, Astrid! Your coat is so starry! It is almost as sparkly as my eyes! See? They get more stars if you compliment me! Does your coat do the same?

We should get to know each other more! I like folklore, folklore is so fun! Have you heard the stories about haunted video games before? What do you think of them? I think I like your hair color, Astrid! I feel like I'm getting to know you so well! Ah Ha!

Oh, you like it? Thanks. Heh... If only that was the case though. Unfortunately, no magic here. This is a regular, plain old coat. I got it as a gift, when I joined the Bureau officially. It's my favorite.



Ah, but now you're speaking my language. Haunted video games? Child's play. There's the ones everyone knows, of course. Polybius, Berserk, that's all in the public zeitgeist. Old hat. What if I told you we had our very own haunted game, right in the depths of this facility?



...Well, we did. Chicken Run 64, a weird, one-off port that shouldn't exist, a port of an already pretty lame Playstation game. It didn't really do much, just made the researchers that played it start hearing things, chicken noises out of nowhere. I think they just incinerated the thing, because they hate fun. Go figure.

I think we still have a Petscop somewhere though, if you want to be basic.

He would also like to visit the Checkpoint , in case he gets sorted into the wrong bedroom and needs to save-scum.

If the Checkpoint turns out to be open, could I also sneak a peak down at the two Gates in the yard?

Dodo resigns himself to instead walk up to the cat robot and peck its screen, trying to get the two big yellow kernels of corn trapped inside.

Nyaaaaaaah! Stop that! I am not food! I am Spooks, the Magical Cat™!



(This is not compliant with the Code of Conduct....!)

Woah~! How cute! I've never seen a Magical™ Robotic Cat before!!

I just wanted to confirm that I'd like to room in the Research Team Dorms if you will have me!
A Journalists best friend is information after all!

Real interesting stuff, this place.
Hey, by the way, does anyone have the keys to the Classified Files? Not that I'm going to poke around too much, mind you, what with them being classified and all, but I'm just curious about 'im.
Should probably check out the Security Office and the Liturgical Study with those keys too. Just being thorough.

You manage to get into the Classified Files, and Spooks doesn't seem to stop you from taking a cursory look. It looks similar to the Whisper Valley Archives outside, but the brief glance you get of a couple of the documents in there look much more technical, and seem to refer to various esoteric terms. Some of it looks sort of similar to the unknown language in the Museum Hall.

You leave before spending too long in there, and head out to the Security Office first. It looks like a basic office for security guards. There's some protective gear hung in a closet, and a desk with some CCTV feeds. Most of them seem to be out, for whatever reason, but one seems to show some kind of shuttle station, and the other is overlooking what seems to be a ring of mushrooms somewhere out in the forest.

Finally, you hit up the Liturgical Study. Various religious texts line the shelves in here, and it would probably take some time to really figure out what they're on about. A cursory glance over the room reveals that there's more religious paraphernalia in here too, as well as what appear to be books on demonology, in contrast to the rest of the room.

Speaking of the Security Room what sort of cameras does it have? If they have enough, act like I'm playing Five Nights at Freddy's. It's a low hanging fruit, but that would still be funny right

Damn. You got the whole squad laughing.

Oooh, I wonder what's on the VHS... Gonna try to get into the display and get it out

You attempt to wrench open the glass case holding onto the VHS player. It seems like this Bureau doesn't consider this one very dangerous, because the display opens with little effort. You reach in to grab it, but Spooks protests, gently swatting your hand out of the way.



Please refrain from touching the Anomalies during this tour! Safety first!

Oh, fine, just cuz you're cute Spooks.

Instead, since no one has done it, I'm gonna go check out the boiler room

You investigate the Boiler Room. It is a pretty old boiler room, with a rusted-out hunk of junk boiler that doesn't seem to be active anymore. You suppose you could still use it to burn things or boil water though. There's also a large tool box with a variety of tools, and a small work bench. It looks like this is a general maintenance room.

Dodo's dormitory preferences right now are: Research > History > Survey in descending order.

He would also like to visit the Checkpoint , in case he gets sorted into the wrong bedroom and needs to save-scum.

Dodo waddles over to the Checkpoint, and is dismayed to find that it does not in fact resemble some sort of save block. It appears to be a metal detector that beeps when someone walks through it carrying metal. You toss a baton from the Security Office through it to test it out, and it does indeed beep. It's not terribly loud though, and is probably only audible from directly adjacent rooms.

Hey Astrid, Spooks, do you guys have any anime here at all?

Put me on whatever dorm's available. Wherever the wind blows, I'll go. That's just my style.

"Shoot! SHOOT SHOOT, I'm late!! Uh. HI EVERYONE MY NAME IS RUBY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL!!"

Aggressively shake hands with everyone here.

honk.

honk.

" ! "

Of course! I believe our tour of the building has come to the logical conclusion. 88.37% of participants seem to be satisfied with the information uncovered.

This is satisfactory. Let us travel out to the Fountain.

You exit the building via the Sleep Lab, stepping out into the Facility Grounds. In the distance is the Fountain, though it doesn't appear to be working. The statue at the center of the fountain depicts a human figure, wrapped in some kind of marble-hewn tubes. Their hand, presumably where the water flows from, looks damaged and the spout remains dry.

Stagnant water sits in the basin, a layer of scum growing thick on top. A large man stands nearby, shaking his head as he examines the mess.

His arm resting on a broom, he turns to look at your group.

music: Show

Oh ho, what's this? Finally sent me some extra hands, did they? 'Bout time, everything's goin' to hell around here.

No... You're the Investigation Team, aren't you? That figures for the Bureau. Spare no expense at bringin' in the experts, while I clean up their messes.



Would you believe this fountain's only been broken since last night? And it's already lookin' like a bayou in there. Got no clue what's goin' on with the damned thing either. Real head-scratcher, it is. I'd bet it's somethin' to do with those eggheads in the Botany Lab, but what do I know?

Name's Gus. Gus Odeon. I'm the maintenance man around here, though nowadays that seems to translate to "Janitor", the way those lab coats think of it.





Ho ho, not a bad job though, at the end of it all. Something different every day, if nothin' else. Hm. Could do without the blood cleanup duty though, I 'spose...

Well, if you're gonna fix some of these problems, I can give you some details. But I'm not about this paranormal crap. I'm a custodian, and these are the grounds I work. I deal with practical problems. Like this fountain. Doesn't matter much to me if some rowdy ghost makes the toilet explode, or whether someone backs up the pipes on their own. There's shit on the floor at the end of the day.

Anyhow, I ain't gonna keep you here listenin' to the ramblings of some old man, not when you've already got the world's worst safety inspector over there yappin' your ears off.



Disinformation detected! Safety metrics have improved verifiably since implementation!



Oh, can it, you bucket of bolts. I'm just playin'.



Before you head out there though, there's somethin' you should know. I was headin' back from that Auxiliary Building last night, the one north of here, when I heard a couple o'... Well, gunshots.

Couldn't tell you who or what was shootin', but you don't work 'round here without gettin' accustomed to the sound. Someone was shootin' alright. Could be a misfire, could be someone tryin' to ward off one of your monsters, could be some... crazed gunman!



Ho ho. I doubt that. Still, watch yourselves. Don't wanna have to be cleanin' up another mess today.

---

You can now explore 1F - Facility Grounds..

room descriptions: Show

[DATABASE ERROR - NULL ENTRIES]

Okay, now it's time to check out the Observatory!

Mind if I check out the Arboretum?

Hey, Spooks, what's with that room to the left of the Arboretum there? Your map doesn't show any entrances, so I thought I should ask. No point in a room if you can't get in it.

The Mine Shaft, Boathouse, and Mirror Lake are all marked with purple just like the Black Forest. Is it safe to assume they're also off limits for now?

Let's see the Botany Lab! Botany sure is a funny word, isn't it?