The Dex Hex, here, in the flesh?

That show was terrible, there were at least four episodes where you could see the actors holding their scripts. It's a miracle it went on as long as it did. Gus Astrid and Lyra have better stage presence and they're not even doing anything.

Anyways, we should give the Control Department a once over just to cover all the bases.

This post was last modified: Dec 13, 2023 at 9:22 PM by Revy.

Good to know there's at least one person here who knows my pain of putting up with fake paranormal bullshit for the sake of a paycheck. You're not just speaking my language, you've got a silver tongue with it. When you've got the chance, how 'bout we leave these schmucks behind and meet up somewhere?



...'Cause Dex, I'm dying to know what else that tongue can do.

Mr. Dexter Hexley? I know your show! It is very good. My favorite episode is from Season 2, when you tried a séance and invited the ghost you spoke with to dinner! Did the ghost ever follow up on your invitation? Do you think you could romance a ghost? I think you could! Ah Ha!

I'm sensing that you are not very happy here, Mr. Hexley. If you are not happy, why do you stay here? You should do what is best for yourself! Would you like to take a vacation? I know some nice cities in Oregon you could visit!

Celebrity...? Nope, don't know you at all.

I'm gonna ignore him and check out the Station 1 thingy, whatever it is

Dexter narrows his eyes, a mixture of annoyance and fatigue, but turns back to his ginger ale instead, leaving you to it.

You stay true to your word and leave, heading for Station 1. It looks like a small station meant for the shuttle between buildings. There is a map on the wall, the same one you have now.

Good to know there's at least one person here who knows my pain of putting up with fake paranormal bullshit for the sake of a paycheck. You're not just speaking my language, you've got a silver tongue with it. When you've got the chance, how 'bout we leave these schmucks behind and meet up somewhere?



...'Cause Dex, I'm dying to know what else that tongue can do.

...Keep it in your pants, lady. Christ, you're worse than a TV groupie, the hell's your deal? Only place I wanna meet up with you is behind 20 lawyers and a restraining order, thanks.

Mr. Dexter Hexley? I know your show! It is very good. My favorite episode is from Season 2, when you tried a séance and invited the ghost you spoke with to dinner! Did the ghost ever follow up on your invitation? Do you think you could romance a ghost? I think you could! Ah Ha!

I'm sensing that you are not very happy here, Mr. Hexley. If you are not happy, why do you stay here? You should do what is best for yourself! Would you like to take a vacation? I know some nice cities in Oregon you could visit!

Well, you seem normal at least. Always nice to meet a fan, unlike the rest of these snobs.

Heh heh, Season 2, Episode 59: "Seance at Studio B". Classic episode, but no. They never do. Can't say I blame 'em though, ghosts can't eat. Probably sucks, but whatever. Don't really know if I'd want the ghost of a triple murderer knocking at my door anyway, so no skin off my back.



Yeah though, very observant. This place blows. I want action, adventure, fame, and fortune - like the good old days. And here? A bunch of random shit, locked up and labeled. Like a zoo, except half this shit isn't even worth looking at. Seriously, a "Bottomless Beer Bottle"? That's some [lGhostQuest-level crap, nothing worthy of my own talents, nothing that's gonna make a splash in the daytime circuit.

But, well, hey. Don't have much of a choice. Not many employment opportunities in this line of work once your show gets cancelled. So I might as well sit here and drink this fuckin ginger ale. A toast, to working in the least haunted haunted building I've ever seen.



Besides, I owe it to someone to stick around, at least for a little while. Like I said earlier, I'm a man of my word. Usually.

Okay time to head back to the main section and check out all the anomalies next to the Anomaly lab, 5016, 4106, 3733, and 2101

Hey, a Locker Room. A place to store my cool rocks.

Lemme see it.

Also that Shuttle Line. I wanna hop on the train.

You check out the Shuttle Line after ditching Dexter at the bar. It looks like a tunnel going from one end of the area to the other, for quick transportation. The tunnel is a bit dark, and hard to see down.

After a moment of waiting, a shuttle arrives to transport you. It isn't very big, boasting a few seats as well as space to store a large item or container. It zips you to Station 2. Fun, and much faster than walking.

You get off and head to the Locker Room. It's a regular locker room, like the sort you would find at a gym. There are three lockers locked with basic combination locks, but the rest are open and empty, free for public use.

I'm not familiar with your work, kid, but I have to give a lot of respect for somebody who can remember 10 years worth of individual episodes.

I'm not familiar with your work, kid, but I have to give a lot of respect for somebody who can remember 10 years worth of individual episodes.

Heh heh. Thanks, old man. What can I say? I've got a photographic memory and an eye for detail.



...I don't think it's too hard to remember the only meaningful thing you've ever done, personally...

(He's a famous personality...?)
(Hector. Cancel the Torode project. I will use the power of networking to bring home a bigger fish).
(Tell the big thinkers to design posters for a new production... Bird Fight.)



Dexter.
You are a star. We will get along nicely. I would love to talk to you about success.

By the way, I have decided that the Survey Team Dorms will do perfectly for me.

The solitude will help me count my apes, prepare important notes, and visualise my success.

By the Twelve! A professional investigator! Hey, have you ever come across any zombies in your adventures? Any particularly well-dressed ones? Oh, no particular reason. That being said...



Did I happen to hear...that somebody...is missing a keycard or two?

This sounds like a case! And also a serious lapse in security. Would somebody be able to use a keycard that doesn't belong to them if they acquired it?

Lab Zero? Lab Zero... well, that doesn't sound very safe, so I'll stick to the usual safe activities, like walking around the buildings looking for roof access. Not for any particular reason, mind you.

You pace around the yard. Honestly, you reason that you could probably get on top of all the Facility Grounds buildings if you had a decent ladder. Especially the Boathouse or the Dorm.

As for the Historical Society, it's much too tall to easily climb, though you could try and scrabble up the brickwork. It looks like there might be an attic, comparing the outside of the building to the inside. Maybe you can get on the roof from there?

<What interesting research! You're so sharp that I bet you've come up with ways to mimic anomalies! Have you ever used the principles that make them so strange to make new technology? Can you harness their properties?>

Hmm... There's something about you...



But! A kindred spirit is a kindred spirit. I'm afraid that kinda thing is classified though, kyeh heh heh! Not allowed to share with the layperson, especially not an intern.

Getting to the good stuff on this tour? Finally! I wanna see all the cool science shit!



Hey, Lyra! What's in the Anomaly Records? Mind letting me have a peek?

The Anomaly Records, huh? Well, that's where we keep all our physical copies of Anomaly data. In case of a cyber attack, we need hard copy backups just in case. Can't be losing that info, after all.

I'd show you around, but it's Access Level V, and I'm afraid your group is full of inferior specimens. Which... includes me, until I get my card back!

I give Lynn Tern her Level V access card back.

Kya ha ha... Well, I see that I have a captive audience, ready to bask in my brilliance - so I'll let it go for now.

I'm Dr. Lyra Orpheus, Anomaly Researcher extraordinaire!

" <guttural cawing and gurgling noises> "

Kya ha ha... Well, I see that I have a captive audience, ready to bask in my brilliance - so I'll let it go for now.

I'm Dr. Lyra Orpheus, Anomaly Researcher extraordinaire!

" <guttural cawing and gurgling noises> "

Can I get this guy a new notebook or something. He doesn't deserve this.

Anomalous occurences...weird death games...hand-in-hand...
Thal's balls, it's just like Mr. Godbert predicted. If he's not mistaken, then any minute now...



...Get your own.

Let me tell you something. These Anomalies? Overrated. Call me back when BPI... I dunno, 4119 or some shit is chasing someone down the hallway with an axe like in Episode 237: The Axe Ghost of Marlon Manor.

---

My apologies to Kright for gif horrificallycrushing the colors of Dexter's sprite.

The Dex Hex, here, in the flesh?

That show was terrible, there were at least four episodes where you could see the actors holding their scripts. It's a miracle it went on as long as it did. Gus Astrid and Lyra have better stage presence and they're not even doing anything.

Anyways, we should give the Control Department a once over just to cover all the bases.

Yeah, this isn't metacritic, asshole. Who do you think you are, Roger Ebert? No one asked.

You decide to ignore him, as many others willfully choose to do, and continue on to the Control Department. You open the door, finding the room to be darker than usual, even darker than the Historical Society. Your hand reaches for the light switch, and you see a cloaked figure, hunched over in the shadows. It swivels to face you...

Aha! So you have come, like a lamb to the slaughter, a sacrifice to the altar. How fitting, for one such as you.

For I have been preparing for this moment since time immemorial. By the light of the scarlet moon, I shall have retribution!



With this Profane Draught, I seal your fate, and condemn you to the depths of the hells evermo-

music: Show

Oh shhhh, these aren't the ones you want. It's only the Investigation Team, isn't it? Does someone need a nap? You can't be having a temper tantrum like this in front of company~

I do not need a "nap"! Sleep, sustenance, all follies of the servile masses, the blind and ignorant. A foul air blows across this land, tinged with the scent of… innocent blood!



You stop that now. Don't make me smack you.

Bah! You may be able to buy my silence for now, harlot, but mark my words, were I not a thrall to your "Bureau", your blood and bone would decorate the walls!



Oh well. Ignore him, he's in a bit of a mood, I'm afraid. Nothing to be done, besides giving him a time-out.

Ah ha ha, sorry for the rude introduction. That's BPI-2300, "The Hunter". We found him frozen off the coast, and brought him back in. Isn't he just adorable? With his little mask and gloves~ ♡

I am a hunter of magicked beasts from an age long past, not a mere curiosity or pet... I deserve respect!

Ah! You'll get respect when you stop lashing out, won't you, 23? Besides, my other little lovelies are much better behaved, especially 3550. Sooooo cute!

I'm Nancy, but you can call me "Miss Partridge", if you want. All my little "anomalies" do, after all~





...Except him.

I'm in charge of the Control Team, which means I get to make sure all these little guys are nice and well-behaved. 23 here is part of a pilot project, to use Anomalies to help contain and capture other Anomalies. I try not to let him out of my sight - he always goes and gets himself hurt.

You speak in falsehoods! I am invincible, an unstoppable force!

Now, now, it's not good to lie, you know. You were just complaining about "gunshots" before these nice people came along.



And I will continue to. The Crimson Interloper… It walks among our number. Hands stained with accursed blood, and still ravenous - hunting for more!

Heed my warning, ye mortal men!

Let me tell you something. These Anomalies? Overrated. Call me back when BPI... I dunno, 4119 or some shit is chasing someone down the hallway with an axe like in Episode 237: The Axe Ghost of Marlon Manor.

---

My apologies to Kright for gif horrificallycrushing the colors of Dexter's sprite.

Yeah... You know what? That one's on the house. Drink up, chief.

...

BPI-2300 is such a fun name! My full name is fun too! My name is GIFfany, but you can call me, Giffany!

You asked me to call you "Miss Partridge", so I will do that, Miss Partridge! Your top is lovely! Where did you get such a cute shirt? And where did get such "anomalies"?

BPI-2300... I wonder if I can call you, Beepee? It is such a sweet gesture to have a nickname! I am unfamiliar with this idea of a "Crimson Interloper". Can you tell me more about your "Crimson Interloper"? I am always happy to listen!

An armory, you say....You can't even imagine how sloppy the head I would give to the man who came up with an idea as genius as a room of nothing but pure gun would be. Fuckin' A.

I think I'll go and mosey on over there.

Now that the Control Department is available for exploration, you decide to check out the Armory. Weapons upon weapons are mounted on the walls, everything from rocket launchers to regular handguns seems to be here for you to snatch up. It's like a dream come true, considering your... fixations.



It is as I have been saying. Allow me to use the explosive projectile. It will eradicate even the most powerful of beings.

I would really rather you not. Have you tried using your words?

Words do not paint with viscera upon the canvas of this world.

Then no. No rocket launcher for you.



Can I use the rocket launcher?



No.

Upon reading the word "Counter-Terrorism", vivid memories begin flooding into Dodo's mind... From apathetic receptionists demanding convoluted paperwork to irate store clerks turning people away at check-out for being two cents short... Counters were foul places, and those occupying the space behind them their cruel masters.

It may be a good idea to get oneself acquainted, before terror begets error.

You examine the Counter-Terrorism room. Much like a few other labs, there are various files scattered around, though upon cursory examination, the subject becomes clear very quickly.

music: Show

...Oh, you're looking at these.

The Crimson Eye... They're a global terrorist organization, and the sworn enemy of the Bureau. Three years ago... they had a major victory, invading a medical facility and making off with the formula for Lazarin, a drug promising eternal life - at a cost. Addiction, reliance, anything to stay alive. They had to keep taking it, and so the influence of the Crimson Eye grew.

Look at any third-world, dictator-controlled nation, and you'll find the Crimson Eye, feeding their governments a supply of eternity. Thanks to a doctor who worked on the initial project to produce the stuff, we have a "cure" - but it's no victory. It's hard to get anyone to give up functional immortality, even if they're making a deal with the devil for it.

And then there's the Shadow Plague.

Their weapon of choice, a disease that attacks the very soul. Sounds surreal, but that's what they say. Reports of a similar disease have surfaced, everywhere from the Eastern European nation of Qstia, to right here, though they're centuries old. Millenia, maybe. However they managed to bring it back, that's something only the stars know. But we've got a sample of it, right over there in BPI-2003.



...I wish we didn't.

This post was last modified: Dec 14, 2023 at 8:57 AM by Izumi Konata.

And then there's the Shadow Plague.

Their weapon of choice, a disease that attacks the very soul. Sounds surreal, but that's what they say. Reports of a similar disease have surfaced, everywhere from the Eastern European nation of Qstia, to right here, though they're centuries old. Millenia, maybe. However they managed to bring it back, that's something only the stars know. But we've got a sample of it, right over there in BPI-2003.



...I wish we didn't.

Wait, that sounds scary? How do you mean the very soul? Is it lethal? Can you cure it? What happens if it gets out?