A lingering aroma - distinctly rancid - clings to the supposed intern as they shuffle forward on wobbling legs, tilting back and forth, at times top-heavy and at others struggling to even drag a leg forward.
Their eyes - all
of their eyes - fix their gaze upon one point, or, rather, upon one man. From somewhere within their body, a gurgling arises, but no longer does the noise emanating from them stop at the indistinct, garbled noise. No, as they hand over the file folder tightly clutched to their personage, they… speak. Haltingly, in an uncertain, staccato tone, as one might when first introduced to the idea that words upon a page can be translated into sound, yes, but it is, for all its roughness, unmistakably speech.
Nil...es... Crane.... Rude. Disr...upt...ive. Unco-co-coop...erative.
Sub-mee- Sub-mit-ing report.
P.H.ENERA - BPI DESIGNEE: CLASSIFIED - NIGHTLY REPORT # 2
How relieving to have kind co-workers! After we made an embarrassment of ourselves last night, Agent Konata gave us a second chance and invited us to participate in a study in the Sleep Lab! Allegedly, agents regularly have vivid-but-confusing sensory experiences while sleeping, but we haven't experienced these dreams. Tonight, we finally dream! We'll need to document all of it! Who knows when a learning experience like this will come again?
The Sleep Lab experiment was scheduled for the end of the night, but that meant there was time to fit in other work tonight! It's like the employee handbook says. When working with anomalies, to idle is suicidal! After spending time with Lyra last night, we realized just how busy the research here keeps her. She has so much demanding her attention! Her expertise should be saved for the most important and complicated research, so we took the job of gathering data on a blue threat level anomaly for her!
We needed paper before we could begin, so we hurried to the Lobby. On our way, we saw
Spooks in the
Anomaly Hall. While we gathered paper in the
Lobby,
Agent Jones wandered around, confused and frustrated. Should we have brought him something to drink?
Well, we didn't have time to ask him questions, because we had to get downstairs to the
Leisure Center and gather equipment. The facility is so generous in providing for its employees; we had to get a bag to carry all of it up the stairs! As we went back upstairs,
we overheard someone walking into the Leisure Center from the east. If they were the one who let BPI-3550 out… we won't be reprimanded for failing to apprehend them… right?
We made it up the stairs, and saw
Agent Smithy walking into the
Chapel before we went into BPI-2610's room.
DXHustler was in here for their seminar, but we thought we could finish our work before it started, so we began experimenting…
…until
Niles Crane interrupted the experiment! We were attacked with an umbrella! We're not authorized to shoot threats, so all we could do was swing the shotgun Agent Dodo gave us as a gift, but then a
masked figure in red robes entered and began attacking with a crowbar and another shotgun! Niles hit us again, and everything went dark…
When we came to, we thought we might be running late again, so we hurried out of the room!
Agent Riki,
Tinkaton, and
DXHustler, sorry about leaving so quickly!
Niles Crane was there to see us leave too.
We passed
Dexter as we were going back to the Lobby. He was close to the
Boiler Room. If he doesn't have a role here, should he be assigned to maintenance? Or is that a task we should handle…?
There wasn't any time to waste on questions like that, so we hurried to the elevator and went down to the
Facility Lobby. On our way through, we found BPI-3550! We froze at first. We've trained for breaches! Proper protocol is an evacuation of the area the breached anomaly is found! Except… there wasn't anyone to evacuate, so we didn't know what to do. But BPI-3550 was very well-behaved and polite! It's not possible that… could some anomalies be… friendly and cooperative?
We were left thinking about the possibility as we searched the
Lab Passage,
Killing Game Lab, and
Anomaly Lab for Lyra. If anyone knew, she would! Oh, and we still had to submit our report to her!
But when we went into the Anomaly Lab everything went wrong again. An office chair came flying at us, and everything went dark again…
Dr. Lyra helped rouse us later, and we handed off our report to her. The work may not be as good as she could have done, but if it helps her, we'd do it again and again! After giving her the report, we had to race to make it to the Sleep Lab before the night ended! We were running
so late, and after Agent Konata was already being so gracious giving us a second chance! It was dizzying! Everything was threatening to go dark again until we made it.
When we reached the
Sleep Lab,
Agent Lily was on the floor passed out with
Agent Ciel beside her.
Agent Konata and
Dr. Jack looked so disappointed. We carried out the experiment, and it was successful, but…
…after how lackluster our performance has been, there's no way we're on track to get offered a job as a real agent. If we can't be a part of the Bureau, what can we even do?
(...) (...sorry, Agent Konata, Dr. Jack) (...)