This post was last modified: Feb 9, 2020 at 12:05 AM by Spooks?.

When day breaks and you gather at the Fountain, you notice a missing face among the crowd. No... It can't be... Not him... You turn and run towards the Garden to check, but Monokuma stops you along the way.




"Huh? What's got you all so worked up? Here I thought you'd be enjoying having a nice, clean, intact island to run around on again. Not that I can take credit for that, mind you, but you've all really got to learn to appreciate your lot in life.

I mean, just look at yourselves! You just got to witness something REALLY special, you know. Not everyone gets the chance to come out to this very special island and die. Some people's fates are far, far worse than that."



"Oh, this is about the dead guy? Well in that case, if this conveniently-named thread wasn't obvious enough about it..."

---

@Ham Sandwich has been found dead in a hole in the garden, with the entire top half of his head missing.

His role was the Ultimate Detective.

role description: Show

With a long list of solved cases under your belt, you are the Ultimate Detective: a world-famous crime solver, tagging along on this island ride to try and solve the mystery for yourself and add yet another infamous case to your record.

For as long as you’re alive, your impressive perception will add extra details to the case file, although the players will know that an Ultimate Detective is alive in the game from the start. You are also capable of performing more detailed autopsies and using tools such as luminol and your handheld black light in order to detect bodily fluids at the crime scene.

On your person, you have a police badge which confirms your role, as well as handcuffs and the aforementioned black light and luminol. The handcuffs are heavy, and would require superhuman skills or lockpicking proficiency to escape from. You can handcuff someone during the night to trap them, but your cuffs will be removed and returned to you at the beginning of each night.

FORBIDDEN ACTION: You cannot plant false evidence at a crime scene, even if you commit the murder in question.

---

"Alas, the Ultimate Detective... Poor bozo died without even using any of his role stuff once. Some detective. Maybe his stupid passive ability being gone will wind up making these cases a little harder though. You guys have already hit a positive solve ratio, and no one's gonna commit murder if it gets solved every time."



"Well, get used to it! Because these successful solves are gonna keep rolling along, like it or not, dude. If the Ultimate Detective is gonna go and die on us, it looks like I'm gonna have to take over for him. Detective Trip is on the case, and this killer's going down."



"Wait, but that means someone else is gonna get executed..."



"Nice 'detective work', Camera Boy. What are you gonna reveal next, that your fashion sense sucks? Ahahahaha, there's no winning in this game, kid!"



"...Except for me!"

---

CASE FILES:
-Gore is splattered around the victim's body
-A trail leads away from the hole, to a lawnmower sitting against a wall
-The Stage is covered in hot sauce
-The library's interior is covered in deep gouge marks
-A crate has floated ashore
-The Keycard Reader in the Woods has been disassembled
-Several materials are missing from the Shed
-Arts and Crafts has been heavily used
-A plate and some syrup is sitting on the Kitchen counter
-A Big Daddy suit is lying on the shore, heavily damaged
-There is a small amount of blood by the Fountain

OTHER INFO
-Several trophy cases are stacked up in the Trophy Room
-The Specimen Room has a summoning circle etched into the ground, a preserved owl lying in the center
-A map of the island has been pinned up in the Leader's Bureau.
-A crate has washed ashore.

---

Room descriptions will be altered as you investigate and learn more about the changes in each room.

THE MAP

Room Descriptions

House Bishop (Red): Show

1F

Foyer - Doubles as a ballroom. A large room with decorated flooring, fancy chandeliers and many other things that make you believe that you just stepped inside a castle. A piano can be found on the Stage near the Staircase, along with a backdoor.

Coatroom - This room is filled with racks of expensive, yet very old, outdoor wear. Coats, boots, and a few parasols all sit on and around the racks, long forgotten by their previous owners.

Wine Storage - A room slightly depressed into the ground. Despite the floor being worn stonework, you can tell that at one point it was quite beautifully crafted. Several casks and bottles of vintage wine sit throughout the room and on the shelves.

Smoker’s Lounge - A dim room with a large oak table in the center, surrounded by velvet chairs. On the table is a rack containing wooden pipes, and a box that contains what you think is tobacco. A painting sits on the wall with the staircase on the other side, staring disconcertingly.

Vault - A large, iron vault looms out from the wall of the Smoker’s Lounge. It is locked by a large combination lock, too rusted to turn.

House Minerva (Yellow): Show

1F

Unnerving Hallway - A rather ordinary hallway, made several degrees creepier by the presence of a painting depicting a looming, shadowy figure on one end. Its eyes appear to follow you as you walk.

Painting Room - A claustrophobic room, filled with hundreds upon thousands of different pieces of work, from Portraits of the island’s inhabitants, Sketches of various concepts and Paintings of various luscious landscapes.

Leisure Room - Various activities can be found within this room which test one’s wit and accuracy. A small bar is located at the bottom right corner of the room, containing various meads and spirits. The stairs ascend upwards from here.

Music Room - Brass and Wind instruments, as well as percussion-like objects are at your disposal. A cubicle is included.

Holding Cell - A locked, bare cell. The heavy iron key hangs on a hook right by the door in the music room. Annoyingly, it is not at all soundproofed.

House Academia (Blue): Show

1F

Scholarly Hallway - A hallway adorned with various diagrams and equations pinned to the walls, depicting all sorts of anatomical oddities and other things you don’t quite understand. A large bookcase sits at the back of the hall, and stairs lead upstairs.

Specimen Room - Various jars containing preserved animals line the shelves that take up much of the room. This room smells rather foul, and the very thought of how bad it would smell if the jars weren’t sealed up makes you weak at the knees.

Classroom - A small auditorium with a large blackboard and long desks, emulating the atmosphere of a university classroom. Chalk and eraser is provided.

Equipment Room - A small room off to the side, containing spiral notebooks, writing utensils, and various surgical equipment, likely for use in dissection. An old plague doctor outfit sits on a mannequin in here too. On the outside of this room is a set of stairs leading upwards.

Teacher’s Lounge - A blend of old and new fixtures and furniture fill this room, including comfortable chairs, a couch, a coffee table, and a rudimentary kitchen. The new hot plate, toaster oven, and coffee machine all hint that perhaps this room was used as a breakroom by the restoration crew as well.

House Oliva (Green): Show

1F

Workshop - A large room containing workbenches and woodworking tools, along with well, wood. The tools are certainly nothing modern, but in spectacular condition, and easy enough to understand and use.

Greenhouse - Once a simple Victorian era garden, now repurposed into a modern era greenhouse to grow greens and various other plants.

Kitchen- State of the art for its time, this kitchen contains giant kettle pots, cooking cauldrons, pans and all sorts of Kitchen equipment you may or may not know of. The kitchen has been modernized to prevent poisoning from the use of very old kitchen equipment, although said equipment can be found in a separate pantry.

Dining Hall - A long table dominates the scene, with candelabras, spice containers, utensils and plates.

Chapel- Located at the back of the mansion, a separate chapel can be found, surrounded by small patches of flowers and arches, with a pathway linking both buildings together. Inside is a small chapel with eight long benches, a pedestal and various stained glasses of religious figures and scenes.

Trip's Pad (Pink): Show

1F

Waiting Room - A small lobby sits just inside the door of this portable unit, which features a couple pink and green chairs to sit in, alongside with an arcade machine. The machine looks new, and does not yet feature any high scores.

??? - The door from the Waiting Room to this room is locked tight with a high-tech password lock. Trip swears up and down that this room was like this when he showed up to the island, and he has no idea what the password is.

Trip’s Office - An extremely disorganized office, with a large desk in the middle. Pizza boxes are tossed around the room, and behind the desk sits a hideous pink and green gamer chair. In the corner, a strange computer terminal sits with a login screen open. On the desk in a small glass display case is a large shard of black crystal. Your head hurts when you look at it.

Bedroom - Trip’s bedroom. All that’s in here is a bed, dressed with his usual eye-torture color scheme. It is much cleaner than the office though, and the bed is quite comfortable.

Bathroom - The one single working bathroom on the island. No deer allowed.

Outdoor Areas: Show

Garden - Located between houses Minerva and Bishop, the Garden was once House Oliva’s own. Ever since the creation of the Greenhouse, the Garden’s contents are now placed here. Various flowers that are well tended to can be found there. Makes for a beautiful sight. Benches and brick roads galore.

Shed - Garden equipment, what else could you ask for?

Fountain - Located at the center of it all, the Fountain’s statue is a Goose, head held high, spouting water from its beak. Throw coins in the water for a wish!

Bonfire - At the edge of the island, behind a Bonfire can be found for everyone to sit down and enjoy a good fire, perhaps some smores as well. Located between houses Academia and Oliva.

Bathroom - There isn’t any due to the lack of a sewage system, but you live on an island! Go do your business at the shore.

Room Descriptions

House Bishop (Red): Show

2F

Trophy Room - Various trophies, paintings and displays are located within this large room. Although the objects feel like they’ve been forged rather than obtained, an air of pride and prestige is instilled within the room. There is an open space in the center, overlooking the Foyer and surrounded by a railing. The chandelier hangs down from here, support rope disappearing into the ceiling.

Mirror Hall - A hall possessing a large, ornate mirror on the outer wall, polished to perfection. A rope descends from a small slot in the ceiling, pulled taut and attached to a mounted winch on the wall opposite the mirror.

Luxury Bedroom - A massive four-poster bed dominates this room, surrounded by silk curtains. A wardrobe sits against the wall, and a chest sits at the foot of the bed. The chest appears to be locked, requiring a key to open.

Hall of Swords - A hallway with several swords of varying shapes and sizes mounted on the wall. Some are flawless and heavily decorated, while others are battle-worn and practical. There is one suit of armor as well, but it appears to have been crafted for decoration, rather than actual use.

Leader’s Bureau - Office of the island’s leader, Gareth. Small book shelves and portraits of unknown age adorn the room’s otherwise dull look.

House Minerva (Yellow): Show

2F

Poison Room - Shelving units filled with various lethal poisons cover the walls of this room. Despite their age, the labels on the bottles are not faded at all.

Bust Hallway - On one end of the hallway, a majestic painting of an old lighthouse sits upon the wall. The hallway itself contains a few stone busts, depicting people you don’t really recognize.

Seafarer’s Bedroom - Upon entering this bedroom, you will quickly notice that it is made up to resemble the cabin of an old pirate ship. A thick dresser sits on the side of the room opposite the bed, and to the side, a desk overlooks the window to the courtyard. Overtop of the bed’s headboard sits a large ship’s wheel.

Arts and Crafts - A room containing two painting easels and a crafting bench. All the creative materials you could ask for are strewn around the room, including paints, pencils, brushes, fabric of many colors, and a sewing machine.

House Academia (Blue): Show

2F

Unfinished Hall - A half-painted hallway still partially held up by modern scaffolding supports. Paint rollers, trays, and buckets of blue paint lie around haphazardly, and it appears that they were abandoned in the middle of the job. The supports and roof quiver unsteadily as you walk.

Study - Researcher Edward’s personal headquarters for studying, research, writing and possibly sleeping at the desk. Bookshelves are filled with various works, essays and various documents.

Alchemy Lab - Various bottles, vials and potentially unknown liquids and materials infest the room. Odors trapped in this room are unlike anything you’ve ever smelled, but some have said they get used to it after prolonged exposure.

Chemistry Lab - Much like the alchemy lab, but without the mess and odors. Liquids, solids and compounds are found, labeled and well organized. Additionally, unlike its room sibling, the room has been modernized to facilitate research. There is a button labeled “Seal” on the wall facing the Airtight Room.

Study - Researcher Edward’s personal headquarters for studying, research, writing and possibly sleeping at the desk. Bookshelves are filled with various works, essays and various documents.

Airtight Room - Seemingly used to test the effects of gasses in a vacuum, this room can be accessed by both the stairs from outside 1F and the Chemistry lab. Pressing the “Seal” button in the Chemistry Lab instantly seals the room, locking both the door to the Chemistry Lab and the Stairs through an unknown clockwork mechanism.

House Oliva (Green): Show

2F

Reading Room - A quiet room where the stairs emerge from the first floor. A desk sits against the wall with an open, empty journal and a quill to write with. There is an inkwell next to it, surprisingly not dried up at all.

Laundry - What used to be an old-fashioned laundry room with washboards and basins has been modernized, utilizing the proximity of the island’s well for a semblance of running water. The machines will clean your clothes, but they take a while, and they tend to rattle the house as they operate. Various cleaning supplies are located here, both ancient and new.

Library - Manuscripts, essays, books and stories. Most older era writings can be generally found here. The shelves not attached to the wall are on wheels, and they will roll if pushed. They lack brakes however, so do be careful.

Overlook Patio - A patio overlooking the backyard, garden, and chapel. A ladder sits here, long enough to reach the ground from here, if you cared to set it up.

Room Descriptions

Basement Rooms: Show

Passageway - A smuggling tunnel between House Bishop and House Minerva. Can be entered through the paintings in House Minerva, and from the Wine Storage in House Bishop. Several casks and crates of wine sit against the walls. A doorway here leads to the Water Control Room.

Water Control - A room lined with piping. Five tanks, labeled House Minerva, House Oliva, House Academia, Media Group Portable Structure, and Fountain each seem to supply water to the structures on the island. The terminal in the middle can control the flow.

Underground Pier - A modern pier built into the side of the cliff. It seems to be abandoned, with no boat in sight, but two crates are stacked on one side of it. A table is on the other side, with a clipboard and old key sitting on top.

CURRENT PLAYERS:

@Bigfoot
@Mother Goose
@ASMR Youtuber
@Skull Face
@Fink
@Godbert Manderville
@The Archivist
@Momoko Koigakubo
@"cooking mama"
@Gordon Ramsay
@Hillary Clinton
@Grell Sutcliff
@Ruby Rose
@Ainsley Harriott
@Ramone Stradvar
@Shoey

Post investigation questions in this thread, and try to post any major theories here, for the sake of ease.

The investigation will end tomorrow at 7 PM PST.

As an incentive, if the correct killer is not lynched, everyone in the game currently will receive a second Forbidden Action besides the killer themselves, who will lose theirs.

COPYING AND PASTING YOUR ACCOUNT WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE EXECUTION. DO NOT DO THIS.

Never have I worked so hard for such an abstract project. All the lies I have given to them on a silver platter can greatly jeopardize my plans if they’re to find out, but to what extent do I have to lie? It’s a breakthrough in the history of everything. Mathematics, science, literature, philosophy, and so on, these concepts can never figure out what I am about to discover. Greed from other investors would ruin me, and I am not about to let a single soul get to the bottom of this before I do first.

The workers have done an excellent job building a tiny village. Given the materials they had to work with, it is a miracle that they have not run out of anything whatsoever to construct the houses. I cannot give credit to the source, as it is not working as of right now. Whatever has happened to it, I will figure it out as the time comes. If all goes right, time will mean nothing to me. Time betrayed me long enough, and it would betray me even further as I go on. Life isn’t about the short moments, but the big impact you leave upon others.

I hope to bring a new view to the world. I doubt that I can make the biggest impact on it, but the fruits of our labor can turn a profit quite quickly. Industries have begun deploying these work strategies for harder, better working subordinates. If they can go further and beyond what is expected of the crystal, I can easily turn the tides of trading to my favor. Hendrik conjectures that results should be fine by my standards, but I don’t think he knows what my standards are, nor what the crystal can do. I don't even know the extent of the gem’s power, and I am already risking my entire project for mere lies. The safest option here is obvious. The poor saps that have chosen to be here will have to do their best for me, or I might be in deep trouble.

I go and check out the crate that washed up on shore.

Let's start by taking a good look at the detective's corpse and the scene of the crime...without throwing up.

I go and check out the crate that washed up on shore.

You go an check out the crate that washed up on shore. Inside is your briefcase.

You open it, and it looks like all the contents are inside.

Let's start by taking a good look at the detective's corpse and the scene of the crime...without throwing up.

You stifle your urge to vomit and pull Ham Sandwich out of the hole. The entire top half of his head has been crudely shaved off. Pieces of his skull, brain, and eyeballs are scattered in the area around the hole, and a trail of blood leads over to the lawnmower propped against the garden wall.

I suspect this hasn't got much to do with the murder, however...

Investigate the remains of the keycard reader in the woods.
Examine the map in the Leader's Bureau

I suspect this hasn't got much to do with the murder, however...

Investigate the remains of the keycard reader in the woods.
Examine the map in the Leader's Bureau

You investigate the keycard reader. You don't know if "remains" is necessarily the right word for it, because it doesn't appear to be actually damaged. Instead, it looks like it's been meticulously taken apart. All the components are still there, though.

You check the map in the Leader's Bureau. It's held to the wall by normal thumbtacks. On the top of it, in red permanent marker, "WAR ROOM" has been written in pretty crap handwriting.

Which items are missing from the Shed?

What a bloody waste of a night.

Getting up, I decided to at least try and make a dish that would prove to one of you ingrates what cooking is actually supposed to be like. Ainsley was there in the kitchen, and he retreated when I entered, presumably unwilling to give my food a chance. Donkey.

I made a good dish of pancakes, but the second I finished, the Big Daddy entered. At least he appreciated good food, taking my pancakes and removing his helmet to reveal the Archivist. Once he finished, he grabbed some bottles of hot sauce and leaving. Meanwhile, I went to House Bishop, ready to perform on stage.

However, despite having ASMR Youtuber, Trip, and Clinton there, along with Grell, Shoey revealed that he hadn't told me I needed a costume. Bloody idiot. Unable to perform properly, I left for the Workshop in House Olivia, and got some glass cutting tools. That stained glass window still confuses me, and I was ready to cut it wide open.

So of course the bloody useless thing broke in minutes without any effect.

At least being angry helped me sleep.

Ham Sandwich Die As Live
Planting Evidence

Which items are missing from the Shed?

A lawnmower, two shovels, a lead pipe, and a camping stove are missing from the Shed.

TESTING, TESTING, IS THIS MOUTH WORKING? PERFECT!

STATEMENT REGARDING MY BED AND BREAKFAST STAY IN JOHNNY SIMS'S MIND! STATEMENT GIVEN 81 DAYS AND 5 HOURS GIVE OR TAKE BEFORE SOCIETY COLLAPSES! COMMITTED TO TAPE BY THE APOCALYPTIC AND CHILD-FRIENDLY BILL CIPHER! LET'S GET THIS THING ROLLIN'!

HOW'S IT HANGING, FUTURE DISCIPLES? DID YOU MISS ME? ADMIT IT, YOU MISSED ME! YOU MIGHT BE CLUELESS AS TO WHO THIS FLOATING YELLOW TRIANGLE IS AND WHY YOU HAVE A HEADACHE COMING ALONG, BUT I'M SURE YOUR PARENT ACCOUNTS WILL KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? GOOD QUESTION!

ANYWAY, I'VE BEEN LOITERING AROUND IN THE ARCHIVIST'S CRANIUM SINCE THIS SHINDIG STARTED, BUT SINCE HIS LACK OF ACTIVITY WAS PUTTING ME TO SLEEP, I DECIDED TO DO THE SAME TO HIM FOR A NIGHT! I HOPE HE TOOK SOME NOTES, BECAUSE HERE'S HOW TO HOLD A REAL PARTY!

LET'S SEE...OH RIGHT, I WOKE UP IN THE KITCHEN AND PASSED THROUGH THE GREENHOUSE, PASS BEHIND HOUSE BISHOP, AND SNEAKED THROUGH THE GARDEN, GRABBING A SHOVEL AND STEPPING ON HAM SANDWICH, WHO WAS CERTAINLY 100% MERELY ASLEEP! THE REASON I GRABBED A SHOVEL WAS...

SAY, I JUST REMEMBERED THIS GUT BUSTING STORY! SO THE YEAR WAS 1863, DURING THE FIRST OF THE SEVENTEEN AMERICAN CIVIL WARS, AND I WAS ABOUT TO START MY JOB INTERVIEW WITH MR. ABRAHAM LINCOLN HIMSELF! I WAS HOPING FOR HIM TO HAVE ME HIRED AS THE CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVE OF VIRGINIA'S 5TH DISTRICT, JUST SO I COULD HAVE STONEWALL JACKSON PAY THE LIMB TAB HE'D BEEN BUILDING UP FOR MONTHS WITHOUT LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS! AND LET ME TELL YOU, I HAD QUITE THE PLAN TO WOO AMERICA'S ONLY CIRCUMCISED PRESIDENT! THE INTERVIEW WENT ALONG WELL, BUT JUST BEFORE I WOULD WALK OUT THE DOOR, I WOULD TURN MY HEAD, SAY "OH, I HAVE ONE MORE THING", AND PULL OUT AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF LOUISIANA HOT SAUCE! AFTER I DOWN THE ENTIRE THING IN ONE GULP, I WOULD GIVE A THUMBS UP AND SAY "OH YEAH, I CAN TAKE THE HEAT!" OL' ABRAHAM WOULD BE SO IMPRESSED, I WOULD HAVE THAT CONGRESS SEAT IN NO TIME!

SO I REACHED INTO MY POCKET AND....WAIT, THIS ISN'T VODKA! I ACCIDENTALLY GRABBED MY BOTTLE OF BONE HURTING JUICE! CURSES, THEY LOOK SO ALIKE! I DIDN'T THINK LINCOLN WAS SMART ENOUGH TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE, SO I JUST ROLLED WITH IT! WITH SWEAT BEADING DOWN MY TOPHAT, I SLOWLY TURNED AROUND AND SAID, "OH, I-I HAVE ONE MORE T-THING!" I THOUGHT OPENING IT WOULD BE A SMOOTH PROCESS, BUT THAT CORK WAS STUCK IN THERE LIKE A STICK UP SUDO'S YOU-KNOW-WHAT! AFTER 3 MINUTES OF FUMBLING AND LINCOLN STARING UNCOMFORTABLY AT ME, I FINALLY MANAGED TO OPEN THE BOTTLE, AND BEFORE THINGS COULD GET ANY WORSE, I DRANK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF BONE HURTING JUICE IN ONE SIP! TRIUMPHANTLY, I SAID "I CAN TAKE THE-"

OOF, OUCH! THE BONE HURTING JUICE WAS STARTING TO KICK IN! I WAS KEELING OVER IN PAIN, THE SEARING SENSATION SPREADING THROUGHOUT MY NONEXISTENT SKELETON! LINCOLN WAS STARTING TO STAND UP! "ARE YOU OKAY?" HE ASKS IN THAT ABOMINABLY HIGH PITCHED VOICE! BEFORE I COULD ANSWER, I COULD FEEL SOMETHING BASHING INSIDE MY THROAT! AND THEN.....I WAS VOMITING UP BONES! SOON, THERE WAS A SMALL PILE OF USED FEMURS AND RIBS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! OH GOD, HOW EMBARRASSING! I'M A DISGRACE TO MY NATION! I RAN OUT OF THE ROOM, AND SUFFICE TO SAY, I DON'T THINK I GOT THE JOB! BUT IT'S OKAY! I HIRED THIS ACTOR GUY TO TAKE CARE OF LINCOLN BEFORE HE COULD SPREAD MY HUMILIATION! NOTHING MUCH, JUST A LIGHT NEGOTIATION I THINK! 1865, WAS IT?

NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT! TONIGHT! BOY HOWDY, WHAT A BLAST THAT WAS! I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE PART WHERE GORDON RAMSAY SHOVED A FISH WITH A CIGAR INTO A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN AND CALLED IT HIS WIFE! IF YOU ASK ME, SHE LOOKED BETTER THAN CAYETANA! ANYWAY, I'M OFF, THAT ARCHIVIST IS GETTING PREEEETTY INSISTENT! REMEMBER: TRIP IS FROM THE 80S NOT THE 90S, XAVIER IS PLOTTING YOUR VERY DEMISE, EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL JIMMY HOFFA BYYYYYYYYE

Was writing my account up but I'll stop to quote the archivist's post and edit the case so it's actually readable.

Spoiler: Show

Testing, testing, is this mouth working? Perfect!

Statement regarding my bed and breakfast stay in johnny sims's mind! Statement given 81 days and 5 hours give or take before society collapses! Committed to tape by the apocalyptic and child-friendly bill cipher! Let's get this thing rollin'!

How's it hanging, future disciples? Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me! You might be clueless as to who this floating yellow triangle is and why you have a headache coming along, but I'm sure your parent accounts will know all about that! What does that mean? Good question!

Anyway, I've been loitering around in the archivist's cranium since this shindig started, but since his lack of activity was putting me to sleep, I decided to do the same to him for a night! I hope he took some notes, because here's how to hold a real party!

Let's see...oh right, I woke up in the kitchen and passed through the greenhouse, pass behind house bishop, and sneaked through the garden, grabbing a shovel and stepping on ham sandwich, who was certainly 100% merely asleep! The reason I grabbed a shovel was...

Say, I just remembered this gut busting story! So the year was 1863, during the first of the seventeen american civil wars, and I was about to start my job interview with mr. Abraham lincoln himself! I was hoping for him to have me hired as the congressional representative of virginia's 5th district, just so I could have stonewall jackson pay the limb tab he'd been building up for months without legal repercussions! And let me tell you, I had quite the plan to woo america's only circumcised president! The interview went along well, but just before I would walk out the door, I would turn my head, say "oh, I have one more thing", and pull out an entire bottle of louisiana hot sauce! After I down the entire thing in one gulp, I would give a thumbs up and say "oh yeah, I can take the heat!" Ol' abraham would be so impressed, I would have that congress seat in no time!

So I reached into my pocket and....wait, this isn't vodka! I accidentally grabbed my bottle of bone hurting juice! Curses, they look so alike! I didn't think lincoln was smart enough to tell the difference, so I just rolled with it! With sweat beading down my tophat, I slowly turned around and said, "oh, i-i have one more t-thing!" I thought opening it would be a smooth process, but that cork was stuck in there like a stick up sudo's you-know-what! After 3 minutes of fumbling and lincoln staring uncomfortably at me, I finally managed to open the bottle, and before things could get any worse, I drank the entire bottle of bone hurting juice in one sip! Triumphantly, I said "I can take the-"

Oof, ouch! The bone hurting juice was starting to kick in! I was keeling over in pain, the searing sensation spreading throughout my nonexistent skeleton! Lincoln was starting to stand up! "Are you okay?" He asks in that abominably high pitched voice! Before I could answer, I could feel something bashing inside my throat! And then.....i was vomiting up bones! Soon, there was a small pile of used femurs and ribs right there in front of me! Oh god, how embarrassing! I'm a disgrace to my nation! I ran out of the room, and suffice to say, I don't think I got the job! But it's okay! I hired this actor guy to take care of lincoln before he could spread my humiliation! Nothing much, just a light negotiation I think! 1865, Was it?

Now, where was i? Oh, right! Tonight! Boy howdy, what a blast that was! I especially liked the part where gordon ramsay shoved a fish with a cigar into a rotisserie chicken and called it his wife! If you ask me, she looked better than cayetana! Anyway, I'm off, that archivist is getting preeeetty insistent! Remember: trip is from the 80s not the 90s, xavier is plotting your very demise, epstein didn't kill jimmy hoffa byyyyyyyye

"I actually noticed something when I walked behind that big red house. That keycard that the King dropped was gone. Actually, when everything got reset, I think that stayed where it was for some reason. I remember seeing it. Is there something weird going on with it?"



"You guys can figure that out. In the meantime, I've got a murder to solve!"



"...Just wish I knew where to start."

Here's my account

This post was last modified: Feb 9, 2020 at 2:10 AM by Bigfoot.

- I wake up in the trophy room and climb out from under the picture of sexy fruit.
- I open my loot crate and put on the X-Files T-shirt. There are some posters inside too that I hang up in place of the paintings that I tore down.
- I use some trophy cases to climb up to the attic of House Bishop.
- Inside, I find some interesting stuff. There is a charging station for a large piece of equipment. I don't know what it is used for, but I know that the item that was supposed to be charging at the time was not there.
- On desk there is a little notebook. The contents were as follows:

"House Bishop Attic Notebook": Show

One shard’s not enough for full stability. Annoying.

NOTE: Make sure to retrieve protective eyewear at some point, potential light sensitivity exploit discovered.

What’s with all the geese? Why is this a theme?

MCD: Executed. Great. (a small doodle of MCD is scrawled next to these words, messily crossed out in red ink)

fuck skull face and FUCK godbert

- I also find a key card, strange flashlight, and expensive wine. I take the first two and toss them into my bag.
- I climb back down to the trophy room. Hilary Clinton is there and laughs at my shirts.
- I continue downstairs and see a wendigo, Grell, and Shoey all doing J-pop dances on the stage.
- I walk past the fountain where Godbert dancing. ASMR Youtuber and Trip are watching.
- I enter House Academia and head upstairs through the unfinishjed hallway.
- Using a nearby stepladder, I enter the attic of House Academia.
- Inside I find items that were being used to construct the unfinished hall and a bunch of diagrams, books, and models about strange occurrences around Britain.
- I sleep on a chest in the attic.

My account will be coming, eventually. I will say early on I saw the deceased sandwich walking around with a shovel, so I'd assume he died after returning to his hole, rather than earlier.

As a completely unrelated side tangent, I'd like to investigate Trip's Office for anything amiss.

My account will be coming, eventually. I will say early on I saw the deceased sandwich walking around with a shovel, so I'd assume he died after returning to his hole, rather than earlier.

As a completely unrelated side tangent, I'd like to investigate Trip's Office for anything amiss.

You walk into Trip's Office. Despite being a burned-out husk only one night ago, now it's restored to its former... glory? Well, maybe not. His carpet still sucks. On his desk, even the glass display case has been fixed, but the crystal piece it held is still missing.

His computer is on though, and a dialogue box saying "Please return disc to the tray." is displayed on the screen.

This post was last modified: Feb 9, 2020 at 2:59 AM by Ramone Stradvar.

So I wake up in the Study in House Academia. Since everything is reset, I decide to check out the attics to see if anything changed. So i head out into Unfinished Hallway and to the Attic Access. I head up there to check. It seems that nothing has been changed an it was as it was when I first discovered it. Relieved that everything is fine up there, I head back down to the hallway and close the access. Back in the Unfinished Hallway, I am joined by Cooking Mama as she leaves the Chemistry Lab. We walk downstairs and she goes into the Classroom while I head outside.

Outside, I walk towards the Fountain on my way over to House Bishop to continue my checking of attics. As I pass the Fountain, I pass by Skull Face. This would end up being the biggest mistake of my night, possibly even of my entire time on the island so far, and almost immediately derails everything else I was planning to do. As I get to the front door of House Bishop, I feel something like a gun pressed against my back. I immediately hear Skull Face tell me to keep walking to the Smokers Lounge or he'll pull the trigger of his gun and kill me. With a swallow of fear, I comply with his request and head off through the Foyer into the Smokers Lounge with the gun still pressed against my back.

When we get in there, with the gun still pressed against my back, he enters the Safe combination. He presses the gun harder against my back and tells me to open the door since he thinks I'm strong, which he's right. So I open the door, and then he wings it the rest of the way open. He prods and tells me to head down to the (Underground) Pier or he'll shoot me. I again comply and head on in the Vault, noticing the jars have on the inside have a lot of scratch marks. The specimens inside seem to be freshly drowned. However, with no time to properly investigate this unnerving sight, I head down the ladder towards the Pier. Skull Face quickly follows behind me.

Down there, he proceeds to press his gun against my back again. With the gun to my back, he leads me to the Underground Pier. When we get there, I notice a third crate and the clipboard on the table has another piece of paper in it. At this moment, Skull Face demands that I hand over my briefcase. To which I responded, "I might look like an ape, which would mean that I am strong, but I am not an ape. However, I am strong, so you should not chance it, for I will not hesitate to retaliate." He quickly reminds me that my muscles don't make me bulletproof against a bullet from his gun. I sigh, knowing he is right about that, and reservedly hand over my briefcase. As i do, he clubbed me with his gun, knocking me out where I stood.

This post was last modified: Feb 9, 2020 at 2:57 AM by Ramone Stradvar.

I go and check out the crate that washed up on shore.

You go an check out the crate that washed up on shore. Inside is your briefcase.

You open it, and it looks like all the contents are inside.

Thankful to have my stolen briefcase back. I carefully and thoroughly check every single item and the briefcase itself to make sure everything is as it should. Mainly checking to see if my stuff has been tampered with or copied.