This post was last modified: Nov 20, 2016 at 1:53 AM by Fun With Despair.

alright folks, it's time for everyone's favorite show: So You Want To Be A Shitposter?

Today's contestant is zelma, and in order to help zelma improve their shitpost game, we're gonna break down their post to explain what's wrong and how to improve!

Unfortunately, the name for the fake syndrome you invented was needlessly tryhard and not nearly smug and passive enough. It's also just generally unfunny and hardly insulting. Consider referring to a real disease like downs, which is what you might have. Equating someone to something considered bad by society's standards.

That aside though, let's look over the rest of your post. The 4chan point might be the one valid point made in the entire shitpost, which is a good start! Again though, you resort to the syndrome by the same iffy name as before, and you make a wild assumption that going to 4chan is the cause of shitposting and not just a place to let off steam for an already accomplished shitposter looking to not get banned.

Unfortunately, point 3 relies on generic stereotypes, which heavily bogs down your post. References to doritos were fun maybe a few years ago, but they are tired and dated now. As someone who is actually out on a pleasant walk to grab some ingredients for use in a future delicious home-cooked meal, like a roast, I can't say I'm feeling the references to these outdated foods and sedentary lifestyles. Perhaps you are merely seeing yourself in me and projecting?

Your final point suffers far too heavily from the outward display of your huge ego. Reel that in a bit, and you might have a better post.

So, when it's all said and done, your shitpost unfortunately gets a lowly score of 3/10. It's unfunny, relies on projection and stale tropes, and generally is more of a "bad post" than anything. I respect the effort, but the comedy really isn't there.

Thanks for tuning in, folks. We'll see you all next Saturday!

This post was last modified: Feb 10, 2017 at 11:40 PM by Mario. Edit Reason: deleted

[deleted]

Your honor, I would like to direct the jury to the Mr. Despair's profile!


...I'm not sure what we're supposed to comment on, Mr. Wright?


I would like you to focus more on his posting style rather than the posts themselves; as they all are unobjectionable...pretty bad.


Yes; but what was the REASON for the objection, Mr. Wright? I'm not noticing anything in particular


Well your honor, there are two major points I'd like to make. If you pay attention to the third paragraph of his post, you'll see he makes the claim that because the references were outdated it meant that the entire post itself was terrible.


I mean, sure but I don't really see the problem. I didn't understand the references anyway!


One sec, Judge! Now if the jury will please take their mind back to around 08-09 there was a huge surge in shitposting. Members such as Orion, Mason, the entire shadow org. and more made a name for themselves using this style! It was so distinctively bad and rebellious; while not held in high regards by the administration team; it was a style and a quick way to be noticed and set yourself apart from the rest!


Hmmm, right. I see that now, I understand a little but what's the major point you're making?


I'm saying the contradiction is that he's saying he's not a fan of the outdated references; but he's



..



using an outdated posting style!

Jury: *gaps*


It's true; acting out, calling other members out of their name, shock value, disregard for general social interaction....these are all behaviors of well known past shit posters from years ago! What seems so fresh and so new is really just a repeat of what we've already seen! In addition to that; "your mother" jokes aren't the only popular jokes among 6-7 year olds!


Really? What else do they say?

Think for a second judge; what does your son and most of the attorneys here call you behind your back?


Hmmmm.......

!!!

.....Phoenix?


You've called me retarded before?


Yes, your honor.


Well, I think I've reached my verdict.

I find Mr. Despair


Of three crimes

1.) Copyright infringement
2.) Being a bitch
3.) fucking with zelma

yeah sorry man I'm not nearly mad enough to put so much goddamn time into a shitpost war

A for effort though, pal. Good posts.

This post was last modified: Nov 22, 2016 at 4:56 AM by Shedinja. Edit Reason: cus fuck SP

good work to both zeldamelon and despair whatever
excellent fight. both posters gave it their all until the end, but zelmel's relentless straightforward offense eventually guard broke 4chan guy, leaving him open to a swift defeat

but is he level 16

i think not

This post was last modified: Nov 22, 2016 at 5:48 AM by Shedinja.

dude pls SHUT UP man F U C K

what was that?

sorry your post is too small I can't tell what you're saying

you just got O U T T E K K E D son thx for the free xp doe

certainly not cast any spells because then you'll be down on his level

levels don't mean shit when you're a D U M B F U C K

T H I S I S S T U P I D

lmao gato is the best poster

hey hey who the FUCK put that sleeping emoji there? only thing sleeping will be you for life if you keep talking shit; i actually just got back from my taikwondo practice; i'm a black belt bitch and that means im certified to kill even though my instructor tells me not to(she;s really nice). anyway; despite the bullshit, i really dont appreciate the gesture. next time it's personally. watch your mouth and disrespect. i actually like you and think you're cool but dont ever fucking disrespect me im worning you bra i am a certified killer. you know rambo? well i'm actually jambo. i will jam your bones into your body and head. jesus chrsit that'd hurt. just dont fuck with me

Reaction farming is a great, simple technique to sweep up a bit of extra EXP, especially with a high Rally

(Someone should add actual strategies to the strategy guide)

mw is so good