Can we...check the contents of BPI-1650's stomach for devoured evidence somehow? Or whatever kind of digestive organ it possesses? I don't wanna hurt the thing, so if there's a safe way to do it...

Maybe if it's in a plant pot, we can, uh, try to take it through the fairy circle? Make it throw up? Although, it could end up anywhere, so hopefully someone has a better idea.

Alright, this one's a bit involved, but might as well conduct a test to firm up something or prevent us from walking down a wrong path. If we take a dead body (Hazel in a pinch), let it stew in the mines water, and then take it outside, does it freeze in the time it takes to walk it to the Auxiliary Building? Then, as a second test, can we wet it, leave it outside until it freezes, and see if it starts to thaw in the time it takes to walk into, say, the Geo Lab and get it to BPI-1650's room? Going to presume that the answers are "no" and "no" because it'd take more time in both cases, but maybe testing it can help us ascertain a Revy popsicle's puddle-making prowess.

I grab an unused sheet and douse myself in water then go for a walk outside. What are my clothes like? How weighed down am I? What do I look like to onlookers?

How about we place that tiki mask along various points of the mines "river" and see what general areas would result in it being found where it was?

I want to check Revy's body to see if she has paint on her anywhere.

I don't think we checked, any water in Revy's lungs?
And for our own sanity, how hard would it be to hide a body in the water from prying eyes?

Nancy walk through Revy puddle, or just see Revy there? Heropon ask so Riki can know if Nancy leave prints.

Hmm... Well, I did go into the room to ake a closer look, I suppose. I might've stepped in something, but I don't really remember, sorry.

There any bare metal wires that fit the murder weapon in the mines? Failing that, can we strip a wire and see how it compares?

Several of the detonator wires are old and bare, and therefore could easily fit the wound, you think.

Can we...check the contents of BPI-1650's stomach for devoured evidence somehow? Or whatever kind of digestive organ it possesses? I don't wanna hurt the thing, so if there's a safe way to do it...

You take a look at BPI-1650. It's just a big Venus flytrap, it probably just dissolves whatever it clamps down on. You don't think it could dissolve anything beyond flesh though. Probably can't even properly eat through clothing.

Maybe if it's in a plant pot, we can, uh, try to take it through the fairy circle? Make it throw up? Although, it could end up anywhere, so hopefully someone has a better idea.

You pick up the plant. It is docile due to having recently "eaten", so it does not protest as you carry it through the woods. Eventually, you put it into the Fairy Circle.

...You don't know where it ended up. Welp.

Alright, I'm gonna bite the bullet. I'm gonna go check inside the ??? Access 6 door in the aquatic lab, is the thing contained inside still inside?

Alright, this one's a bit involved, but might as well conduct a test to firm up something or prevent us from walking down a wrong path. If we take a dead body (Hazel in a pinch), let it stew in the mines water, and then take it outside, does it freeze in the time it takes to walk it to the Auxiliary Building? Then, as a second test, can we wet it, leave it outside until it freezes, and see if it starts to thaw in the time it takes to walk into, say, the Geo Lab and get it to BPI-1650's room? Going to presume that the answers are "no" and "no" because it'd take more time in both cases, but maybe testing it can help us ascertain a Revy popsicle's puddle-making prowess.

You decide to grab Gus, because fuck Gus. You drag his body up to the mines and give him a good soak, then drag him outside. It freezes very quickly, long before you can get it to the Auxiliary Building.

You then take the wet Gus body and bring it inside. It doesn't melt before you get to BPI-1650's room. Its not very warm in here in general so you think it would take a while to defrost.

I grab an unused sheet and douse myself in water then go for a walk outside. What are my clothes like? How weighed down am I? What do I look like to onlookers?

You grab your bedsheet, put it on like a cloak, and cover yourself in water in the Bathroom sink. You then go outside. Your clothes are wet, the sheet is wet, and all of it freezes almost instantly. It is completely miserable and walking is kind of a pain. The waterlogged, now-frozen sheet is pretty heavy. It looks like you're having some mild trouble walking.

How about we place that tiki mask along various points of the mines "river" and see what general areas would result in it being found where it was?

You place the tiki mask in the Crusher room, roughly in the middle, in the water. The river flow carries it downwards, though you think its a pretty split chance as to which cavern it gets carried into, Explosive Storage or the Crystal Cave.

Placing the mask closer to either entrance does influence where it goes heavily, and when you attempt this, it almost always goes down into the closest cavern.

I want to check Revy's body to see if she has paint on her anywhere.

Revy's body has no paint anywhere on it.

I grab an unused sheet and douse myself in water then go for a walk outside. What are my clothes like? How weighed down am I? What do I look like to onlookers?

You grab your bedsheet, put it on like a cloak, and cover yourself in water in the Bathroom sink. You then go outside. Your clothes are wet, the sheet is wet, and all of it freezes almost instantly. It is completely miserable and walking is kind of a pain. The waterlogged, now-frozen sheet is pretty heavy. It looks like you're having some mild trouble walking.

Does she look like what I remember the sheet person looking like during the night when I saw them?

at what point does the water from the lake become frozen? is the creek under the bridges flowing or is that frozen too? could the mask have flowed into the mine from outside?

I would like to ask Dex to a) inspect the body to ensure nothing paranormal is going on, and b) present his theory as to what happened

This post was last modified: Mar 24, 2024 at 7:22 PM by Spooks?.

Alright, I'm gonna bite the bullet. I'm gonna go check inside the ??? Access 6 door in the aquatic lab, is the thing contained inside still inside?

You open the ??? room near the Aquatic Lab. The broken access panel means that you can freely go in, thankfully.

Lab Zero has been unlocked.

You enter...

The room is… quite a sight. It looks like some kind of operating room or other surgical laboratory. There are desks and computers of course, as well as multiple operating tables, and old, dried blood is splattered across some of the walls. Weird tanks filled with multicolored, swirling fluid sit against the far wall, attached to mechanical arms tipped with needles that hover above the operating tables. There is an Anomaly Containment Room in here as well, to the south. Many of the operating tables don’t appear to have bodies on them at all, but instead masks, lying where the head of a “patient” would be.

From under one of the surgical tables, a creature emerges. It looks like a human, but its skin is pure white and its eyes glow with with a bright red color. It is thin, and feathers grow from its arms like they’re halfway between transforming into wings. The way it moves though…

The body slithers across the floor like some kind of serpent, its limbs twitching as it makes its way towards you. From its mouth, a dull croak, like the voice of someone who’s been yelling for longer than they should, uttering only the same word on repeat.

“HOLY HOLY HOLY”

You turn and run, slamming the door behind you. It bangs on the door, but doesn't seem able to leave.

I grab an unused sheet and douse myself in water then go for a walk outside. What are my clothes like? How weighed down am I? What do I look like to onlookers?

You grab your bedsheet, put it on like a cloak, and cover yourself in water in the Bathroom sink. You then go outside. Your clothes are wet, the sheet is wet, and all of it freezes almost instantly. It is completely miserable and walking is kind of a pain. The waterlogged, now-frozen sheet is pretty heavy. It looks like you're having some mild trouble walking.

Does she look like what I remember the sheet person looking like during the night when I saw them?

You go to say something, but Spooks bops you gently on the back of the head, shaking his TV-head disappointedly. Don't memcheck in public, dummy.

at what point does the water from the lake become frozen? is the creek under the bridges flowing or is that frozen too? could the mask have flowed into the mine from outside?

The river under the bridges appears to be frozen, but not solid through. Water still flows underneath the icy surface. It seems like it hasn't been long enough to freeze solid. It is possible the mask could've been carried along under the ice, but you see no hole where it could have been dropped in.

From under one of the surgical tables, a creature emerges. It looks like a human, but its skin is pure white and its eyes glow with with a bright red color. It is thin, and feathers grow from its arms like they’re halfway between transforming into wings. The way it moves though…

The body slithers across the floor like some kind of serpent, its limbs twitching as it makes its way towards you. From its mouth, a dull croak, like the voice of someone who’s been yelling for longer than they should, uttering only the same word on repeat.

“HOLY HOLY HOLY”

You turn and run, slamming the door behind you. It bangs on the door, but doesn't seem able to leave.

I roll for Seduction.

I make an attempt to carry the body while under the waterlogged sheet-cloak, what happens?

I would like to ask Dex to a) inspect the body to ensure nothing paranormal is going on, and b) present his theory as to what happened

Huh? Oh, yeah sure, gimme a sec.

...Nah. Nothing weird going on with this body, unless you count the bite marks from the big fuckin' plant. Seems like basic strangulation. Fun.

Anyway, yeah. I've got a theory.

---

So, we've got a body on our hands. Soaking wet, sitting in a weird place, and her mask found in the Mines. Some real interesting stuff we're seeing here, gotta admit. Just how does a body get that far without anyone seeing it? Well, I'll tell you how.

You're watching Dexter Hexley: Paranormal Investigator - Season 9, Episode 5: Death in the Mines!



I've been hearing lots of talk about smuggling bodies under cloaks, or teleporting them, or whatever - but what if everyone saw it, they just didn't know it? Yeah, let me draw your attention to a certain giant bird that people claimed to see. What if... it wasn't a bird at all?

Now, let me ask you. Who here's got wings? Show of hands, I'm waiting.



Well, besides Dodo. I uh... dunno if he can fly with that... physique



That's right, Jonsohn Smithy, or whatever he's calling himself now! Yeah, they're insect wings, but at that altitude... does it matter? Something like that wouldn't be very easy to see from the ground. Guy would probably look something like a giant bird. I mean, think about it.

His dorms are right next to the mines, and his goal was simple. Actually, the whole plan makes sense. The freaky bug just walked five steps to the right when he left his dorm and went into the mines. Grabbed some wire, strangled Revy, then picked up her up and flew her across the the yard to the Black Forest, where he dumped her in the Fairy Circle to hide the evidence.

Everyone else just saw a "giant bird", but I know the truth!



All he had to do after that... was show up for the bridge-building with a bunch more wood. An awfully convenient reason to go into the woods, isn't it? Makes you wonder if the guy's hiding something. Which he is! He's our killer, trust me on this one!

...And thus spoke Dexter Hexley. You're welcome.

I would like to ask Dex to a) inspect the body to ensure nothing paranormal is going on, and b) present his theory as to what happened

You're watching Dexter Hexley: Paranormal Investigator - Season 9, Episode 5: Death in the Mines!

Season... 9? I thought your show stopped at 7? Did we skip one?? No wonder you got cancelled with writing like this.

From under one of the surgical tables, a creature emerges. It looks like a human, but its skin is pure white and its eyes glow with with a bright red color. It is thin, and feathers grow from its arms like they’re halfway between transforming into wings. The way it moves though…

The body slithers across the floor like some kind of serpent, its limbs twitching as it makes its way towards you. From its mouth, a dull croak, like the voice of someone who’s been yelling for longer than they should, uttering only the same word on repeat.

“HOLY HOLY HOLY”

You turn and run, slamming the door behind you. It bangs on the door, but doesn't seem able to leave.

I roll for Seduction.

You re-open the lab door, staring the creature down. You clutch your D20 in hand, shaking it and rolling it across the laboratory floor. The dice tumbled towards the creature, landing on a might roll of... 2.

The creature stares at the dice, unimpressed, before resuming its croaking chant and retreating back under one of the operating tables. You leave, heartbroken.

I make an attempt to carry the body while under the waterlogged sheet-cloak, what happens?

How would you like to carry the body? Wedding style? Weekend at Bernie's? What's your angle?

I would like to ask Dex to a) inspect the body to ensure nothing paranormal is going on, and b) present his theory as to what happened

You're watching Dexter Hexley: Paranormal Investigator - Season 9, Episode 5: Death in the Mines!

Season... 9? I thought your show stopped at 7? Did we skip one?? No wonder you got cancelled with writing like this.

Yeah well, just wait until we get out of here, pal! I'll cancel you! Letting a convicted killer outta jail? Oh yeah, the internet's gonna love that!

While everyone is stunned into silence by the Hexley Theory Hour, I stealthily shove a crumpled-up piece of paper into Dexter's hand.